Sportsong of the Week #65
"Russell Westbrook on a farm"
In honor of Russell Westbrook’s birthday yesterday Sportsong of the Week #65 is the absolutely best (and only) song ever made or ever should be made about NBA basketball star Westbrook. The song is called “Russell Westbrook on a Farm” and it was created by the very funny and equally (still) underrated rapper named Lil Dicky!
[Verse] Ain’t no doubt about it, shit is coming And I’m just praying that Lil Dicky love it Always told myself that this the type of shit I wanted I was being honest, even made a promise Not with anybody else, this was inner conscious Talking to my fucking self, das a little bonkers I know, I still got a lot of shit to conquer I hope that ain't even ma concern tho You know I’ll be working till I get what I deserve Whatever totems I get personally you know I’ma earn those This ain't even bout some shit up on a checklist This about the fact that I’m about to test this I’m about to figure out what ma best is I can't avoid it because now ya boy invested And I ain't gotta a choice except to smile and accept it Pretty reckless, pretty restless cuz I’ve lived my life expecting love To come the second my attempt was done, and yea I guess To some extent I was correct because I’m getting buzz But now I’m bout to be ubiquitous, look it up Yeah, or that’s at least what I’m assuming But as alluded to reality is looming and Now ya dude about to make a move and take the truth And hope to god that when he through That what he thought about is proven But honestly I'm not afraid that it’s delusion I’m hot enough to where I know it’s not illusion But obviously I been finding this confusing This ain’t even close to what I thought I would be doing Don’t get me wrong, I was born to be big But I always figured it would be the comedy thing So I started rapping just to see what drama it brings What big dogs from sitcoms would holler at me And as the time past, I rhymed faster, lines crafted Was high class as I mastered my craft and Goddamn, who’da thought it get like this Back in twenty-ten music wouldn’t make that list I’m talking top 5 to 10 strengths, with no winks I would not lie, my pen dry, with no ink Or… that’s at least what I thought 'til I clawed and scratched the pen 'til I saw a line draw Then I coulda let bygones be bygones But I really wanted to rhyme till ma line drawn Like where the fuck is ma peak at Not Brown but I make it pop, then I beat that Not crowned yet, but I don’t think I decreed that Not loud, but you know I’m ready to tweet that I just really hope I’m ready to be that Now you seeing where D’s at 'cause even though I’m softer than a tissue I ain't nothing to sneeze at I’m smarter, where fuck ya degrees at And I ain't harder but I’m hotter homie, where da fuck ya degrees at I’m bout to come in and desaturate The chic rap today and evaporate The feedback I hate, I elaborate At a later date But I’m getting off the point with the player hate What the fuck was I saying, oh yeah I’m kind of a slave To my ambition, I ain't quittin' till ma shit is appraised And I admit it, I predict that where I finish is crazy But that just means that it’s further away So…Burd about to work until he turn in his grave It’s really burdensome when earning something’s fun for the day But I’m concerned about da burning out from upping the stakes I’m always uppin' the steaks I’m taking dinner meetings in New York, always up for the steaks We exploring the discussion of great They assuring me that when I’m more elite I’ll be secure and amazed But this isn’t insecurity mang… Like this the opposite of that, confidence in fact Ma biggest problem is I can't honestly relax Because inside of me a damn odyssey enacts And I made a promise that I can't be the body That’s stopping it, think I need a lobotomy Lil Dicky the prophecy, little bit of anomaly, not a commodity Not a façade, or a lotta da Comedy prodigies Commonly brought up wit Dicky Feelin' weird, lemme think of an analogy Just imagine for a second what if Russell Westbrook never knew his own mentality Grew up on a farm where the biggest commonality Was people that conform to the ruralest localities To Russell though it was nuffin' but normality And he really nice up on the plow in actuality Everybody liked the kid and dug his personality And so da mutuality was somewhat rationality So then ya man made a plan of practicality Not even a plan, it was more of a formality Get a little land and attend to its vitality Then raise a little fam 'til it all became finality The strategy was just to stay in the course And do ya chores, when ya happy ya ain't need to abort Never explored nothing less he rollin' round on his horse Then one day he was up on his horse That’s when he went past the porch, the path he normally Passes forth was fast and short, was after more Went faster north, amassed a lure to master more And then discovered the court He like yaaa…let me down Tim Hopped off, lookin' puzzled at the round rim Saw a ball up in the corner on the ground then Russell started dribbling and giggling astounded Then he shot a brick and then a brick and then he downed it And when he hit it Russell listened to the fuckin' sound friction Up in a swish make and he was confounded Because he knew that he had found him But right now, it was still for the fun Just a way to kill the time when the farming was done Then the walking turned to running, and the hoppin' turned to jumping And dunking, and Russell had to keep coming because the young’n was fucking Disgusting and loving it, running it, all of a sudden the public started to come In abundance and fuck wit him, 'cause he was butter and hungry, hung jury 'cause stories of glory, not normally for people like him Then the word got around up to ESPN And they flying Russell down to compete in the gym Bunch a grown men lookin' to belittle the kid Because to those men, ball was the reason to live And the GOATS they been all in since they was kids So this goat owning mafucka look like a dick And even know Russell knows that, he doesn’t submit He just chills with a grin And then the game start, and this muthafucka take charge Make it rain, hard D up on these bitches making children of men Lookin' better than his predecessors ever could get Turned the animosity to respect And then the Thunder called him Said they heard a lot about the ballin' Told him that they wanna get involved and Showed him all the shit that you can get up in the league, it’s so appalling Oklahoma City in the autumn, hella pretty Awesome, errbody laud him Erry bitty lookin' like they really fucking fallin' Condominium is so legitimate it’s sprawling And this muthafucka on the court straight ballin' Cash all up in that ass, lol’ing at the past like Where the fuck would I be at up on the other path, right? If I never stumbled 'pon the game then think of that life Shit, who taking care of ma farm? Who taking care of ma farm? Who taking care of ma farm? I really loved that farm… uh [Hook] CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE 500 million now that’s a pound cake According to Jay Z, and Drake… But greatness ain’t about cake